


With Friends Like Ziz

by Kelly_the_Ferret



Series: Leviathan Depths [16]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:03:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21840220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelly_the_Ferret/pseuds/Kelly_the_Ferret
Summary: Aziraphale, Crowley, and Gabriel have been working hard to stabilize a balance between three leviathans in a pocket dimension. Now, the rest of the team are trying to deal with the aftermath.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Gabriel/Raphael (Good Omens)
Series: Leviathan Depths [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538272
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	With Friends Like Ziz

The radio in the Wreckless Wonder's wheelhouse crackled to life quite abruptly with a forceful American female voice. Newt, who had been napping with his glasses halfway off his face, jumped half a meter into the air. "THIS IS CAPTAIN WINTERS OF THE U.S.S. FORENZA. WE ARE ON A NATO PEACEKEEPING MISSION. PLEASE STATE YOUR BUSINESS."

Newt tried to launch himself from his chair, but only succeeded in knocking it, and himself, over backwards. He hauled himself up using the edge of the control panel while jamming his glasses back onto his face. He snatched up the com handpiece and blurted, "Erm, hullo, H.M.S. Wreckless Wonder here on a research mission, no troubles so far!"

"WRECKLESS WONDER YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO EXPLAIN YOUR PRESENCE IN THESE WATERS. YOUR VESSEL WAS LOGGED LEAVING THE ENGLISH CHANNEL 36 HOURS AGO. YOU CANNOT HAVE TRAVELLED 7,000 MILES IN THAT TIME."

Newt panicked. "Uh, well ma'am, we had incredibly good headwinds, and with the jet stream in prime position-"

"WHO AM I SPEAKING WITH?"

"Newt," the terrified man squeaked.

"NEWT?" *crackle (giggle?) crackle* "NEWT WHO?"

The engineer swallowed, trying to recover his dignity. "That is, Newton Pulsifer, ma'am."

"YOUR SHIP IS REGISTERED TO A MR. FELL AND A MR. DEVINE. PRESENT ONE OR BOTH OF THEM IMMEDIATELY."

Newt's glasses nearly flew off again and he nearly dropped the handset. "That, uh, isn't possible just at this moment. They are uh... indisposed."

"YOU HAVE ONE HOUR TO... DISPOSE ONE OF YOUR REGISTRANTS AND PUT HIM ON THIS CHANNEL BEFORE WE ESCORT YOU TO PORT."

"Yes, ma'am! Thanks very much!" Newt rolled his eyes at himself as he set the com back down. "Bloody Americans," he muttered, standing up to go find Vince and Anathema.

"COME AGAIN?"

"Uh! Ruddy Meridans! I've dropped my burrito, got to go!" Newt shouted into the radio before scurrying off.

He found his shipmates standing side by side with their arms crossed, looking at Howard's door. The cacophony from inside had not changed.

"We have a problem! Well, there's good news and bad news!" Newt announced as he gasped for breath.

"It can't get much worse, mate, go on," Vince encouragingly responded.

The engineer braced a hand on the wall. "Well, we're under suspicion from some Americans with NATO-"

"Oh, for crying out loud!" his witch interjected.

"But! That green-ey light still hasn't come back, so they have no real reason to call for backup, at least not for the next 58 minutes, when either Gabriel or Aziraphale needs to explain how we got here from the UK!" Newt finished.

Vince's focus shifted to his hair. "Well, we boated here, clearly!" he laughed.

Anathema picked up on the source of Newt's worry. "Yeah, and they'll tear this whole ship apart looking for the wormhole machine we have on board if we let them near us!" she irritably explained with a tap to the side of Vince's head.

"Oi! Not the hair!" he moaned.

* * * * *

The ground under the Behemoth was shaking violently now, and the massive creature was beginning to bounce. Crowley couldn't decide if the giant's face looked confused or amused with the developing situation. A sound like the tearing of ten thousand newspapers ripped across the grassland, and he noticed a black hair-line crack on the horizon line along what he'd come to consider the south end of the field. (Crowley's love of driving had trained his mind to think in terms of cardinal directions. However, his angel usually seemed irritated when told to go look on the east side of the shop for a missing cocoa mug. 'Oh, the shop!' he thought ruefully.)

The two angels and the demon formed a tight triangle in front of the Ziz-let to hear one another over the vociferous destruction around them. 

"Lads, I really do not want to experience the end like this, not in this place. Can we go somewhere else?" Aziraphale begged.

"The Behemoth could have lifted us through the hole in the cave's ceiling... When there was a cave." Crowley irritably pointed out.

"Not helpful," Gabriel flatly stated. He placed a hand on the other angel's shoulder, and added, "If the Behemoth broke in here, he can probably break out. Where do you want to be?" 

Aziraphale shifted a longing look between both of his companions. "The shop. Until it's nothing but rubble."

The leviathan wrangler nodded and took off to speak to the Behemoth, face to...ear? The other two began to push and pull at the cooing fledgling; the Ziz had grown 10 feet taller and sprouted pale feathers in reds and yellows along its wings and tail. Suddenly, the bouncing Behemoth was lumbering towards the northern horizon and rapidly gaining speed.

"We need to get off this train!" the demon shouted.

Aziraphale placed himself in front of the clueless bird and gestured for Crowley to join him. Moving was becoming difficult as turbulence increased, but once the pair were side by side, the principality opened his flawless wings and turned around so the Ziz could see them. The demon's eyebrows rose, and he made a similar movement, demonstrating how his black wings fanned open and closed. 

Crowley suddenly became aware that their velocity was starting to shift. He cursed when he saw that the Behemoth was planning to throw his weight sideways at something which looked like a painted image of a horizon on a wall. He grabbed his angel by the elbow and flapped hard. 

Both celestials lifted off safely, drawing an elated squawk from their pupil. They drifted downwards with eyes on the miniature leviathan as she was carried away from them. The young avian spun around in a child-like dance, flapping and jumping in between jolts from the thundering Behemoth under her.

The charging monstrosity lowered its right shoulder, curved its neck to the left so its body would serve as a shield, and closed its eyes. 

There were few things that Aziraphale could compare to the moment of impact. He'd been around for Pompeii and had stood among Japanese Taiko drummers and felt less shock. But the instant that the "wall" lit up with green fire, the careening hulk disappeared, leaving only a familiarly shaped swirling portal.

The demon and angel became aware of Gabriel's presence behind them when they heard a relieved whoosh of air from him. He stepped forward and clapped the stunned pair on the shoulders, laughing with tears of joy, "She made it! Look at that, she did it!"

Far to the left of the new reality-tear, Aziraphale saw the round silhouette of the baby Ziz pumping its wings madly as it slowly sank to the ground.

The sky above them was beginning to streak with red and black. "Guess we find out how fast this mess is spreading out there," the archangel said as he wiped his face with his hand. He cleared his throat and moved the group and their bird to the edge of the abyss. "Keep an eye out for rising undead sea critters," he warned. 

* * * * *

With 50 minutes left on the NATO timer, the Wreckless's radio blared back to life. "PULSIFER, REPORT BACK!"

Newt was not going to be intimidated again. He bravely hopped back on the com. "Speaking. Our registrants are still as yet unavailable, but I think you'll find we have plenty of time-"

"SEND CREW TO DECK. EXPLAIN THIS BIO SIGN."

Newt and Anathema rushed outside to the railing where their friends had climbed overboard. The dark waters were illuminated by the renewed Green Glow as well as by spotlights from the opposing vessel. Something was moving in the water between the two ships. 

An inky shadow partially blotted out the shifting green, and Anathema pointed downwards towards the churning shapes of four impossibly large elephant legs. She gasped as she spotted a neck and back arching out of the water which belonged to a creature who could have used Nessie as a bath toy. 

Newt groaned and rushed back inside to the radio. "Unknown! *pant* Unknown creature! Advise observation!"

"AGREED FOR NOW, WRECKLESS. NO ACTION TO BE TAKEN UNTIL SUPPORT FIRE ARRIVES."

Newt swallowed hard. "Er... Sorry, did you say support fire?"

"AFFIRMATIVE. TWO OHIO-CLASS NUCLEAR SUBMARINES HAVE BEEN DEPLOYED AND ARE ENROUTE. DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THE TARGET."

The engineer's scientific mind flooded with disastrous imagery. "T-target?! Ma'am, I cannot overstate the importance of taking no action against this - this thing! Have you not seen its size-!?" Newt could have won a Pulitzer, a Tony, and a Nobel Peace Prize for the argument he proceeded to levy against the brick wall on the other ship. Needless to say, no amount of sound logic was going to dissuade the US Navy. 

Meanwhile outside, the Behemoth seemed perfectly content to swim around at surface level. All lights and attention were so focused on the dog-paddling dinosaur that no one noticed the whale-sized disturbance near the Wonder's stern. 

A pair of independently moving eyes scanned the area behind the Wonder from a face with a long yellow bill. A very water-logged Ziz breached the surface tummy-up, flanked by three bobbing human shapes. She made a purring chirping noise that was mostly swallowed by the sound of the Wonder's machinery. 

Crowley was very glad he had taken the time to learn to swim during his time in Egypt. He made a slithering movement through the water to reach the two angels. "No fire in the sky. Nor tide of mer-zombies," he observed.

Aziraphale struggled to keep his head above the waves, coughing and taking on water when he opened his mouth to speak. A look of minor annoyance crossed his face, and the three were suddenly dry and sitting in the restored lifeboat that the angel had previously altered. "That is more than a relief, I think, but we may not be in the clear yet." 

"He's right," Gabriel added. "We have no idea what's gonna happen or how it will work. I never actually blew the trumpet before, for... Well, for Her sake." The archangel's shoulders sagged and he rubbed his forehead.

A faint series of metallic thumps from inside the Wreckless's hull caught the celestials' attention. "Shall we check in?" the principality suggested. 

Anathema muffled a scream and planted a hand on the outer wall of the wheelhouse when she turned to find three more crew on deck than there had been the previous moment. Gabriel dodged a punch that the witch aimed at his arm, but he allowed her to gather him into a hug with the rest of the returning dive team. "You guys, things are getting crazy!" she exclaimed as she tugged Aziraphale's sleeve towards the wheelhouse. 

* * * * *

Gabriel cleared his throat and rested his hands on the wheelhouse table. All but one of the Wreckless Wonder's crew were gathered to discuss the Matters at Hand. The Ziz-let had been brought on board and was resting in a cargo hold that was roomier than its space allotment should have allowed, which was crucial as the creature was continuing to grow. "So, no indications that the world is tearing apart. Howard is still out for blood. And something called NATO wants to go to war with the Behemoth." He looked around the table and shook his head.

Bollo's face glowed from the travel crystal on the table. "Please, you must do something! *HOO-HOO, HOO* Stop the madness!" The gorilla had chained himself up at a safe distance from his shaman, and he was beginning to fear the worst was happening to him. The group could hear Naboo continuing to blather nonsense across the room from the crystal ball.

"Yeah, okay, so can we get him to do a roar?" Vince impatiently asked. "My best mate is downstairs trying to kick a hole in a double-lined steel door!"

The team brainstormed and within minutes, Gabriel and Aziraphale were being lowered to the water in the lifeboat. Meanwhile, Newt contacted the Forenza on the com. "Wreckless Wonder reporting; Misters Fell and Devine are enroute to speak with Captain Winters."

"CLEAR PERSONNEL FROM THE WATER. REPEAT. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR VESSEL!"

"Sorry, you broke up, what was that?"

"REMAIN ON BOARD YOUR SHIP!"

"Must be some interference. Going dark to troubleshoot the radio."

All spot lighting shifted to the small lifeboat as it cruised out from behind its ship. The Forenza began blaring Captain Winters' voice across the water, but the two small craft passengers seemed confused about the American's instructions. 

Crowley slid his black glasses up the bridge of his nose, and spread his night-colored wings atop his rooftop perch. The two angels in the motorized boat appeared to be bickering with one another while they zoomed around in meandering circles. He raised an eyebrow at the increasingly frustrated voice on the loudspeaker. He waited for the lifeboat to veer away from the Behemoth to take flight.

The demonic operative coasted just above the water, using the cool air at the surface to propel him quickly to the Behemoth's side. "Here goes nothing," he muttered as he artfully rose to the creature's ear. 

"Oi, Mr. Behemoth. It's me, you know, from before, with the blue fire. I'm glad you're feeling better, but we need a roar. Call it a favor for a friend; we're desperate here."

Crowley thought the giant might have nodded, but the creature could have just been rearing back his head as he sucked in a breath that could have deflated the Hindenburg. The roar was a just-audible rumble that sent huge rippling waves outward from the beast.

Instantly, all lights were back on the Behemoth. Crowley flipped over backwards and dove back to the water's surface; the ninjas he'd led in a guerilla attack against Aziraphale's samurai friends in feudal Japan would have been impressed.

Meanwhile, the lifeboat seemed to gain a sensible rudder, and it moved toward the Wreckless to the sound of "GET OFF THE WATER. YOU ARE ANGERING THE TARGET."

Crowley landed in time to join Vince as he was marching towards Howard's makeshift prison. "All quiet now," he softly commented as the pair approached the door.

The rocker's platform boots afforded him the excessive height required to view all corners of the locked cabin through the small porthole. Having spied his friend sprawled against a far wall, Vince slowly twisted the door lever. Crowley fell into a defensive fighting pose behind the glitter-clad crewman. The door cautiously swung open, bringing a sigh of relief from them both as an exhausted voice called out, "What's going on? What's happened to my sleeves?"

The demon set Howard's garment right with a snap as Vince rushed forward to haul his friend up into a joyful hug.

Vince and Crowley supported the weary explorer from either side as the trio returned to the wheelhouse. There they found the ship's registered leasees in a vexing argument with the radio.

"NO. NO. YOUR VESSEL WAS FOUND IN THIS LOCATION IMMEDIATELY BEFORE ALL OF THIS HAPPENED. YOU KNOW SOMETHING."

Aziraphale stepped away to welcome the survivor back to the bridge while Gabriel continued to spin administrative jargon at the com. The principality swept the tweed figure into an embrace which was accompanied by a soft white glow, and Howard's fatigue and minor bruises faded away.

The explorer's head turned towards the radio, seeming to notice the odd conversation in front of him for the first time. His eyes lit up and his features melted into the soft smile he normally reserved for his kitten photos. He stepped up to the radio on light feet and he calmly took the handset from a bewildered Gabriel. "Hullo. Howard Moon at your service, long-standing member of the Explorer's Guild, and life-long investigator of mysteries," his northern accent purred. 

"EXCUSE ME... WHAT?" Captain Winters' confused blink was almost visible through the radio.

Newt and Anathema looked at one another with a mixed expression of shocked bemusement. Howard continued, "There are wild things out here at sea, and I am no stranger to troubled times. I've stared into the darkness of the abyss, and I am always prepared to strike out at whatever stares back."

"WHAT ARE YOU... WHAT ARE YOU SUGGESTING?" the radio blared. Crowley was nearly crying from holding in a laugh.

Howard drew himself up and went on, "An intelligent lady like yourself should be a valuable asset in getting to the bottom of all this. I propose we share our assets, ma'am, and work together!"

The forceful tone that the Wreckless's crew had become accustomed to in Captain Winters shifted. "SO, YOUR PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING EITHER. I SUPPOSE SOME... TEAMWORK MIGHT BE PRUDENT. ARE YOU... ABLE TO LEAVE YOUR POST, MR. MOON?"

"I believe I am, indeed, ma'am." The gentleman in tweed responded. He was the only crewman left on the bridge who held any composure.

"GOOD. WE WILL SEND A CRAFT TO COLLECT YOU. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CREWMATES TO LEAVE YOUR SHIP AGAIN."

An inflatable orange raft was deployed with two crew and it was buzzing over to the Wonder's port side within five minutes. Howard confidently stepped onto the same ladder that the celestials had previously climbed down. "Good on you mate, running interference with the lady types!" Vince laughed as he clapped his friend on the shoulder.

Howard gave a proud salute which squeaked against his bright yellow life vest, and he disappeared below the railing.

"Is he still wearing his pyjamas?" Newt wondered aloud as the speed raft shoved off. 

The Forenza illuminated Howard's crossing. The crew of the Wreckless Wonder remained railside to watch the bouncing craft as it sailed along behind the Behemoth. "Well, what will we tell the NATO chaps about all this?" Aziraphale asked to no one in particular.

Before anyone could formulate an answer, the water under the floating raft surged neon green as four rings of energy rolled outwards from the glowing underwater anomaly. A final long flash sent arcs of green electricity radiating outwards before they snaked back inwards to a single dark point. The water rumbled. All lights streaked to the spot where the glow had been, but the darkness yielded no secrets.


End file.
